Post 357: All Alone

Stardate:70806.1630
Title: All Alone
Author: February Grace
Scene: Surgical Recovery Room; Symbiosis Commission: Trill
Time: A while after "Playing God"
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"I'm all alone, all by myself, there is no one here beside me," ~King Arthur, in Monty Python's Spamalot
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"Oh, man," February groaned softly. Her head throbbed, her eyes ached, and she couldn't remember where she was.

She was cold. The thin sheet covering her wasn't nearly enough. *Had her favorite quilt slid off the bottom of her bed again?* She wondered, *Was the cat to blame? He was known for digging his claws into it, tugging until it slid off of her and then flopping on it after it landed on the floor.*

She heard an eerie beeping noise and opened her eyes. She looked around her and realized she was in a hospital room, but this wasn't Indy's Sickbay. She looked down at her wrists, which were wired up to something or other and-

*Wait. I just saw that. I saw it.*

Last she remembered, she couldn't see anything. But now she could see very well, better than she had since before she was joined to begin with.

Wherever she was, it was so quiet here, so peaceful. It was like all the other voices that usually crowded her consciousness were silent. Peacefully sleeping. Almost like Grace wasn't- *Oh god. Grace.*

She tried to sit up and felt a soreness within her midsection that told her that she felt alone for a reason. She was alone.

"Whoa, easy there." Dr. Trind hurried over and held February down by the shoulders as she began to panic.

"My symbiont. Where is my symbiont?"

"Grace is in that tank over there, see? We're taking good care of it."

If she was over here, and the symbiont was over there, that meant only one thing. One really, truly, incredibly bad thing. "How long since?" February asked softly.

"Two hours and ten minutes."

"Ah." She knew that in this case, time was definitely not on her side. "How is it possible that I can see?" She observed Trind's kind and gentle eyes. The doctor was a very beautiful woman- something that February had been unable to properly appreciate with her previous level of visual acuity. Even before things had gone completely black.

"We did our best to fix your eyes, Bru, since you were sleeping anyway."

"It was very sweet of you to go to all that trouble," February's voice was hoarse from all the screaming she'd done earlier. "Especially considering I'm going to die in about an hour and fifty minutes."

"We haven't resigned ourselves to that just yet." Jaine Hood spoke up, joining the conversation. "Just relax, February. There is a lot going on that we'll tell you all about later. But for right now, you just need to lie there, try to save up your strength, and trust us okay?"

February knew she had little choice. "Thank you for everything you've done already," she lowered her head back down onto the pillow. "I hate to be a bother but could I get a blanket please? I'm freezing."

"Of course. I'll be right back." Jaine vanished around the corner and a moment later February noticed two very familiar faces staring at her from across the room. T'Ana and Gilmore took tentative steps forward.

"Well, hi," February smiled as best she could, and pulled the sheet up higher, feeling self conscious. "It's good to see you both."

"You can see us!" Lily smiled gently. "That's wonderful news. You just hang in there, you'll be out of here in no time. We'll take you home, you can rest up and recover. I'll bring take out from Seven to your quarters every night until you're back to your old self again."

"Yeah," Bru replied, seeming very far away. "That will be great."

Lily felt a hand on her shoulder, as R.J. Gilmore motioned that he wanted a moment to speak to February alone.

"I'll let you rest, Bru. See you soon, you and Grace both. Be strong, my friend." Lily's lips smiled, but her eyes betrayed an entirely different emotion.

"A moment, doctor?" Gilmore asked, and Trind nodded and moved over to the symbiont tank to chat with Rigin, who maintained his faithful vigil over Grace, with Dabin Reece alongside.

Hood returned with a heated blanket and draped it over February before also turning her attention to the activities at the symbiont tank.

Gilmore pulled the blanket up and tucked it in under February's chin.

"I liked it better when I was the one in the sick bed and you were the one visiting," he looked for her hand, instinctively wanting to take it and warm it up, but found that she'd pulled them both beneath the blanket.

"Honestly? I didn't like that option any better than this one." February replied. "Which reminds me, how are you feeling, Sir?"

Gilmore shook his head. Here she was, laying there with perhaps the last remaining moments of her young life literally ticking away with the seconds, and she was worried about him. How was that possible?

"I might ask you the same question, lieutenant."

"I have to think about it a second," she replied, with her brow furrowing above her enormous blue eyes. "I don't feel bad. Tired. Weak. But not bad. It's all so quiet. . . I didn't realize how noisy it was in my own head with Grace and all the previous hosts. . .it's kind of lonely now but to tell you the truth, I did miss the quiet. Being alone with my own thoughts."

He nodded. He didn't know how anyone could live with all of that going on in their head all the time. It seemed as if it would be like constantly hearing static over voices on a dozen simultaneously broadcasting com channels. Maddening.

"Being able to see again is really something," she continued. "I didn't realize how bad I missed the finer points. Friendly faces, the brightness of colors. Next time I'm in the arboretum, I can't wait to look at the-" she stopped.

"The what?"

"I was going to say the pink hydrangea. But I don't think I'll have the chance."

"February," Gilmore began, finally locating her hand beneath the edge of the blanket and grabbing hold. "You can't give up. You just. Can't."

"Neither can you," she replied softly, tightening her fingers around his. "No matter what happens next."

"Okay, Captain. I'm sorry, but she needs to rest now." Ashlyn put her hand gently on the Captain's arm, noting that February was becoming distressed.

"I'll talk to you soon, then. Rest well, lieutenant," Without looking at either woman directly, Gilmore released February's hand and quickly exited the room.

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Lt. (jg) February Grace
Helm/Flight Controller
USS Independence NCC-90791