Post 386: How's That Workin' For Ya?

Stardate:70814.1955
Title: How's That Workin' For You?
Author: Lair Kellyn
Scene: Sickbay, USS Independence
Time: Before Heart of Darkness
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After Salvek left aboard the Callisto, Lair Kellyn decided now was as good a time as any to take on the huge job of reprogramming the EMH.

She needed a major project to keep her mind off of the fact that she hadn't wanted him to go, not in his current condition. So she did what always helped her most at times like this. She threw herself into her job.

Now she was almost finished, and fine tuned settings here and there, wanting to get the accent and the personality just right.

The physical and emotional attributes of several different prominent Starfleet doctors were modeled in the current EMH Personality Profile Database. After reviewing the personalities on file to choose from, she found that this one was her favorite. Now it was time to take him for a test drive.

The new EMH shimmered into view and stood mute before her. She walked around him in a circle.

His appearance matched the specs. That was promising. He appeared to be a human male of about the age of fifty-five. Tall, broad shouldered; with only a closely clipped patch of silver hair on each of the sides of his head.

He had a thick mustache and blue eyes. His pattern of speech was something that amused Kellyn to no end, and she figured that amusing was something they could all use given that the last EMH had turned out to have a dark side that no one could have predicted, furnished courtesy of the Bajoran computer virus.

"Computer," Kellyn began, "activate voice control protocols. Test EMH."

"Please state the nature of the, well hello there." The EMH said to Kellyn in a distinct Texas twang. "Not feelin' well today?"

She tried to pull a malady out of her hat to see what he'd say in response."I, um, have pollen allergies, I need something for them."

He picked up a small flashlight and shined it in her eyes. "Open your mouth. Stick out your tongue and say ahhh," he commanded and he looked in her throat. Then he tilted her head back and shined the light up her nose. "You don't look like you got allergies to me."

"Oh, I know, I, can I put my head down now?" She asked as he continued to peer up and into her nostrils. "I took an antihistamine before I went to work in the arboretum." She said this purposely. "I'm behind on my allergy shots and,"

"Let's be sure I've got this right. Ya'll are allergic to pollen. You're behind on your vaccinations and you went to the arboretum? How's that workin' for ya?"

Kellyn laughed. That was exactly the response she'd expected based on this personality profile. "Very good. Computer, deactivate EMH."

"Now, I can't treat you if I'm not activated. You're just about as dumb as a rock!" he complained, as he faded from view.

She shook her head. Were they sure this guy was supposed to be human and not Bajoran?

She was convinced that the new program was ready if needed, and put safety protocols in place to be sure that he would only be activated in Sickbay for the time being. Until they were sure of his temperament, and that she hadn't built any glitches into his program they should keep him contained.

Suddenly, familiar voices could be heard nearby and she knew that the away team had come back.

Her first impulse was to go and find Salvek. But she resisted, knowing that he must be fine or else the others would have brought him to Sickbay as well.

She tried to ignore what was going on around the corner, feeling as if she'd be intruding upon February's privacy if she paid any attention to it.

She decided that now was the time to make her exit quietly, and she headed down to check on Rada Dengar, who was still supposed to be working in the runabout bay on the Ganymede.

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Lt. Commander Lair Kellyn
Acting Chief Engineer
USS Independence NCC-90791