Post 388: Found

Stardate:70814.2345
Title: Found
Author: Lt. Grace
Scene: Sickbay/ Inside a mind-meld with Salvek
Time: Following "Lost"
--------------------------------------------

She cocked her head to the side. "Are you certain? That name is not familiar to me."

"Yes. Your name is February Grace. You are a Starfleet officer carrying the rank of Lieutenant junior grade. You are a joined Trill, the seventh host of the Grace Symbiont." Salvek informed her.

The sound of a small voice crying emanated from one of the shadowed corners of the empty room. Salvek turned his head to listen.

"Who is that?" He asked February.

"I cannot be February," she replied, indicating the corner. "She is."

Salvek left the form of the woman standing there, and moved slowly toward the corner. He was on his guard, not knowing what danger could be lurking within her mind, or if it could pose a danger to his safety. He raised his mental shields, and this was represented in the meld by him drawing a phaser from his belt. He held it at the ready.

"You, in the corner. Show yourself."

The sound of soft crying turned to a fearful gasp/sob/gasp pattern, and Salvek realized that the figure in the corner was a child. Small, with long blonde hair, blue eyes and telltale spots on her skin, he dropped to one knee and put the phaser away. He reached out toward her.

"It is all right, February. You do not have to hide. Come out, into the light."

"No."

"You have nothing to fear here."

"But if I come out he's going to be angry again." the younger version of February said between sobs. "He's always so angry. I just want to make him happy, but I keep messing up."

"Who? If you tell me, perhaps I can talk to him about it."

"No!" the child jumped up and ran across the room, cowering in the opposite corner. "If you tell him that you know the secret, it'll be worse. He'll just get angrier."

Salvek moved toward her, observing that the grown form of Grace stared on unaffected by what was going on around her here. "February, who will get angrier?"

"My father," the child whispered. She picked up her bangs, and allowed Salvek to see a bump on her forehead. "I said that I bumped into the door when they asked me at school," she whispered. "'Cause usually he's careful not to make a mark when he hits. Usually he hits me here, or here," she pointed to different parts of her head, where bruises and bumps could be easily concealed by her hair. "But he did this time. I wish I could run away forever. But I can't get out of here. There isn't a door."

Salvek examined the room again and realized that indeed, there appeared to be no exit.

"He cannot hurt you anymore," Salvek assured her. "You can protect yourself now. You are not a child any more, February. February?"

The girl transformed before his eyes now, taking the form of an adolescent. She wore her hair in long, twin braids, had correction devices on her teeth, and carried a pile of books in her arms.

"Oh. Hello!" She said to Salvek, as if seeing him for the first time. "I'm Bru. What's your name?"

"My name is Salvek."

"Are you my new history instructor?" she asked, seeming to think she was in school. "Because sir, I tried so hard on Mrs. Mayhan's extra credit work for summer school, do you know if she posted the final grades yet? I need to keep my grades up so I can graduate this semester. Get early entry into the Initiate program."

"How old are you, Bru?"

"Fourteen."

"But no one gains admission into the Initiate program so young."

"They tell me I'm going to be the first," She replied proudly. "Mother and Father took me from our home on Earth all the way to Trill last season.
They told me that I'm going to be the youngest initiate in the history of the program! They want to move me there right away, start me ahead of time and then train me to take on a really special symbiont."

She seemed so innocent and trusting, traits which had seemed in Salvek's opinion to follow February even into her mid-twenties as he knew her now.

*Her faith in the Symbiosis Commission had been so great,* he thought, *she must truly have been shattered when she found out the truth of what they had done to her.*

"Will you please assign me lots of extra credit work Professor Salvek?" Bru asked, shuffling the weight of those heavy books from arm to arm. "'Cause it's the only thing that will prove to Dad that I'm serious, if I get extra work and get it done and do it right. He says that I can't finish things, that I'm a quitter. He doesn't believe that I'll be joined, I'll show him."

"Your father is joined, then?"

"No. Mother is, but not father." She looked uneasy suddenly, like she wanted to change the subject.

"That must cause. . .friction between them. Is everything all right at home?"

"Oh! Would you look at the time?" young Bru replied, checking her chronometer. "I have to go or I'll be late for honors algebra. Thank you Mr. Salvek, I'll see you in class tomorrow!" She disappeared, and Salvek was left alone in the room again with the mute, stone-faced adult image of February Grace.

"Do you remember that you are February now?" he asked and she raised an eyebrow.

"That is illogical. I am not a creature so at the mercy of my emotions."

*It seems that in her desperation to hide, that she has taken on some of the traits of my personality,* Salvek thought. *Fascinating*. He continued on.

Outside in Sickbay, Rigin and McKenna watched as Salvek lifted his second hand and applied it to the other side of February's face to probe her mind more deeply.

Inside the meld, the room changed. There were random items strewn around on the floor. A guitar. A bowl of cat food. A single pink shoe. This was progress, he thought.

*She's beginning to remember.*

The image of February before him was no longer wearing the identical outfit he was, she was wearing a Starfleet cadet uniform.

"Cadet, what is your name?" Salvek asked authoritatively.

"I, I don't know sir." February replied uneasily. "I'm sorry, but I cannot seem to remember."

"You are not a cadet, you are Lt. February Grace and you are assigned to the," her uniform altered with his suggestion, changing from that of a cadet to that of an officer.

"USS Worthington!" February exclaimed. "I'm the flight controller!"

Salvek recognized the name as that of the ship that Gilmore had commanded previously.

"Who is your commanding officer?"

"R.J. Gilmore," February said, and instantly her cheeks took on a reddish hue. Salvek was aware, suddenly, of emotion in her. He was startled by it.

"Your ship is not the Worthington," He informed her flatly. "It is called Independence."

The room began to fill with more familiar items. The bar from Seven mysteriously appeared on the opposite wall. Items that were in her quarters seemed to fill in the space around them, a couch, a chair. The bookshelf, though all the spines of the books were blank, except for one.

Salvek analyzed the one book. "Jane Eyre?" he questioned her.

"I love that book, it's so sad and romantic and the ending-" she sighed. "If only life could be that way. But it never is."

Salvek thought a moment about her previous reaction at the mention of Gilmore, and he put it together with what he knew of her behavior in real life and suddenly, something became crystal clear to him.

"You have a history, it would seem, of seeking affection from emotionally unavailable men." he declared, and February laughed out loud.

"Oh is that so? Who died and made you Freud? Oh, wait," She said, realizing that Freud and many of the other so-called masters of psychology were already long dead.

"February, love is not love if it causes you pain. If it causes you to believe that you should try to make yourself into anything other than what you are, naturally."

"But if I change, maybe," she said weakly, even though she knew that he was right. Nothing could ever come of her feelings, she'd known that deep down for a long time now.

"I am sorry," Salvek whispered, "But love does not work that way."

"If I were a better person, if I was smarter, and prettier,"

Salvek, still emotionally sensitive due to his own recent struggles, felt his heart go out to her. "No, February. I have felt love in my life, and I can tell you that this is not real love."

"What is real love then?" she searched his eyes desperately. "I have to know if it's out there, if it's even worth trying to find."

Salvek allowed her, just for an instant, to feel the contentment, the peace, and the happiness that the love he felt for, and from his wife had brought into his life.

Tears spilled down her face, and yet she smiled at the sensation. It was so different than anything she had ever felt in her life. Suddenly, Salvek looked over and saw the image of February standing beside Gilmore's sickbay bed, after his heart surgery. He watched as she picked up the hand of the sleeping Captain and held it a moment, then set it back down.

"I thought- I mean," She paused. "I wanted to save him. I thought that was what love was."

"The person you need to care for and save now, February, is yourself. You must take my hand, and follow me back."

She hesitated. "I'm afraid."

"You have been through much. It is normal to be frightened. But you will persevere."

She took his outstretched hand and a step forward, toward a door which seemed to appear out of nowhere before them.

"My name is February Grace." she whispered. "You know all about me, but I know so little of you."

She felt exposed and uneasy, and Salvek chose now to let her know something about him that he hadn't planned on sharing with anyone, save the two people who already knew of it.

"You are not the only one who has suffered in the name of the progress of medical science, February," he whispered, and he showed her his memories of the tests and experiments he'd been put through since childhood. She looked at him so sympathetically afterward that he hardly knew how to react to the depth of her compassion.

"Oh, Salvek. I am so sorry." she responded. "What can I do to help you?"

Salvek felt a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You already have, Lt. Grace," he replied. "In a way that I never imagined. I thank you."

Salvek withdrew his mind from hers now, and a moment later, both he and February opened their eyes. Rigin jumped backwards in shock, and slapped Salvek on the back. "You did it!"

"What is your name?" Dr. McKenna asked her, as he scanned her with a tricorder.

"My name is February Grace," she replied. She reached out and grasped hold of Salvek's hand. "And this is my friend, Salvek of Vulcan."

Salvek nodded to her once before she released his hand and added. "I believe that the time for my zhian'tara has come."
-----------------------------------------------
Lt. (jg) February Grace
Helm/Flight Controller
USS Independence NCC-90791