Post 392: Remember Me Part Two

Stardate:70815.1450
Title: Remember Me; Part Two
Author: February Grace
Scene: Conference Room, USS Independence
Time: Following Part One
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"What do you mean, the way it's going to stay?" February asked, growing concerned.

"I'm not going to let Rigin take these memories back and put them into you again. I'm going to hold on to them instead." Lily said with finality.

"What?" February gasped. "You can't. Your mind isn't built to take the strain of living with multiple personalities like mine is, well, like it was before and I hope it will be again." Bru concluded. "You just can't do this."

There was no huge emotional outburst, no fit of temper happening here. Just the calm determination of a woman who had made up her mind.

"I am part Vulcan," Lily replied, "I can suppress Wen's negative emotions. I can learn to eradicate them from my thoughts."

"But what if you can't? And even if you could, why would you want to do this-"

"BECAUSE I couldn't HELP her!" Lily shouted suddenly, jumping up and walking away. "Because I wasn't there and I couldn't save Wen. We were apart, and I didn't know. I DIDN'T KNOW!"

The sound of Lily's screaming brought Rigin and McKenna running into the room. "Hey, everything all right in here?" McKenna asked, scanning each of the women in turn. "What's going on?"

"Lily doesn't want to give Wen's memories back to me," February announced. "She thinks that she can keep me safe from them. I'm trying to explain to her that it doesn't work that way. If you could just give us a second?"

The men nodded and reluctantly retreated. February took Lily's hand and led her back to the couch, then sat down with her legs crossed.

"I know that you want to help me. That you want to try to spare me the pain that you couldn't spare Wen, and I love you for that," February's eyes filled with tears now. "But it's not something you can do for me. It's something I have to learn to live with, in my own way. You can't save me, and it wasn't your job to save her,"

"I would have tried," Lily averted her gaze. "I would have tried so hard."

"She loved you, Lily. You were the closest thing Wen ever had to a sister. I am so sorry that you've lost her, but I hope with all my heart that knowing that some of her will live on in me will help you, just a little."

Lily nodded sadly, and February squeezed her hand before asking, "If I could just. Say goodbye? To Wen. "

Lily closed her eyes, and allowed Wen's personality to become dominant again. Her expression changed, and she looked at Bru once more as if she didn't really know her.

"What was your name again?" she asked.

"February."

"Well, February, I can already tell that Grace is in good hands with you, because you've made it farther than I ever did. What do you do? Professionally, I mean?"

"I'm a pilot." February replied softly. "I sit at the helm of the Flagship of the Federation."

"Wow," Wen marveled at the thought. "I lived in a lab most of my days, and there didn't turn out to be many of them, did there?"

"No."

"Well, February Grace, don't make the same mistakes I did. Don't sit in a room and stare at data and experiments, and whatever you do, do not try to be perfect. Just do your best, then learn to let it go. Nothing else matters beyond that," she seemed finally to be at peace with herself somehow as she added, "Get out there. See the universe. Live, and find happiness."

She took February's hands and smiled at her. "For both of us, and for Grace too."

Rigin returned and completed the process of transferring the memories from Lily back into Grace. Now he would find out if his theory of 'reintroduction by proxy' had any merit- and if February and Grace had any hope of ever linking their memories and lives properly again.

"Well?" he asked breathlessly. "Is she there?" February thought a moment, and a sad smile crossed her face.

She had the clearest memory suddenly, of teenaged Wen Grace and Lily T'Ana walking through a beautiful, light and fluffy snowfall. Arms linked, giddy with laughter, they sang a song. February tried to remember the words, and closed her eyes.

"We're a couple of misfits, we're a couple of misfits! What's the matter with misfits? That's where we fit in!" Bru sang softly, then she looked at Rigin, and smiled with tears in her eyes.

"Oh yes." Lily T'Ana answered for her, a smile coming to her lips as well. "Wen's there."

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Lt. February Grace
Helm/Flight Controller
USS Independence NCC-90791